are you evangelical?

When it was day Jesus departed and went into a lonely place. And the people sought him and came to him, and would have kept him from leaving them; but he said to them, "I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other cities also; for I was sent for this purpose." (Lk 4.42-43)

During a conversation with a friend the other day, he asked me, "So, are you evangelical?"

Meaning, am I trying to convince people, am I trying to get others to do what I'm doing, live the way I live. I said yes, I definitely thought that living this way (we happened to be talking about Jesus' gift economy and dependence on God for our needs) is a great thing, a great good for anyone, that everyone is invited to live that way, and that it speaks more clearly of Jesus and his message to the world. His gospel, his "good news of the kingdom of God."

Then, yesterday in church, we were discussing the gospel as "good news." Being reminded that it is supposed to be good news, so why do we Christians so often seem somber or bored about it? That was followed by people talking about the many good things that are part of their lives, graces from God that they are thankful for.

But I noticed that they were little, everyday things. Not much different from the little joys that are a part of any human life. Which are important, sure; I wouldn't want to do without them, and I am also thankful for them. But not much to get excited about. Are those good enough news to leave home and travel around announcing what God is doing in the world? Are those good enough for people to take notice that something unusual and incredible (even miraculous) is happening?

I think the first part of being evangelical is the relentless desire to see the amazing promises of Jesus fulfilled. The kingdom of God present among us. And the abandonment of our lives, risking all to see this, so that we too have great news to share with others.

An important thing to keep in mind as Heather and I prepare to go out on the road in July...

"Factory Windows Are Always Broken"

Heather read me this poem today, from an anthology I picked up at the local resale shop. It's by Vachel Lindsay.

Factory windows are always broken.
Somebody's always throwing bricks,
Somebody's always heaving cinders,
Playing ugly Yahoo tricks.

Factory windows are always broken.
Other windows are let alone.
No one throws through chapel-window
The bitter, snarling derisive stone.

Factory windows are always broken.
Something or other is going wrong.
Something is rotten—I think, in Denmark.
End of the factory-window song.

Reminds me of something else Heather said to me recently, coming in from the fields: "I don't want to work by the hour. It's demeaning."

marriage changes everything?

I was talking with a friend the other day about my concern that marriage and family pressures can cause us to forget our idealistic goals and convictions. I've seen this in other young couples that have started families quickly (and unexpectedly). The response I usually get from married folks when I express this concern is that marriage changes everything, that our own ideals should submit to the needs of the marriage, that keeping the marriage together is now what's most important.

Perhaps that is true if our ideals are simply our own plans or ambitions. And I can see that it is a good thing to set aside our own personal ambitions for the sake of someone else, to maintain and strengthen the marriage relationship.

But for Christians, our ideals should be those set before us by Jesus, our convictions the teachings we follow in obedience to him. So it doesn't make sense to talk about setting these aside for the sake of the marriage. And how could we ever say that the marriage is now what's most important? Marriage should not change our commitment to the "one thing needful," the devoted and single-minded attention to learning from Jesus and following his example day by day. In Heather's wedding vow she acknowledged this, promising to "gladly follow Jesus" with me as long as she lives.

The path is the same, the narrow path, the little-used path, following Jesus' radical abandonment to the will of his Father. "Not my will (or my wife's will, or anyone else's) but your will be done."

the honeymoon's over

We spent most of yesterday cleaning up our room which was left in wedding disarray, clearing out the wrapping paper and boxes, putting gifts away (after figuring out who they came from), and doing several loads of neglected laundry. Now there's some semblance of order.

And life seems to be returning to normal. Which has been a bit of an emotional let down. The wedding went so well, great weather and no major snags, even the unexpected improvisations (like the congregational dance at the end of the service) turned out much better than the original plan. The cake was incredible. And the mood was relaxed and everyone seemed to be having fun, even the kids. Such a high spirit throughout. And the honeymoon in the seclusion of the cabin was bliss. So it felt strange and a bit empty to return to the routine here, and see everyone going on normally, like nothing major had changed.

But now I'm thinking that "back to normal" may be just what I need. Because I encountered something else after the wedding: From the married couples we talked to, I kept getting the impression that we had "joined the club," that now we were on the path that they were familiar with, the well-trodden path that so many have taken before us. That they knew what we were in for. And that made me a bit nervous. Because I didn't think I was changing paths, getting on the well-travelled one...

Clearing out the wedding decorations and getting back to my normal life reminds me that I haven't changed substantially, and what I am called to has not changed substantially (despite the knowing nods of our married friends). I am called to love. The love exemplified by Jesus, a single man who never "joined the club." The same love that I've been trying to live all along. I tried to emphasize this in my wedding vow, that my marriage commitment was simply part of the commitment that I've been living for years. The commitment to love with God's love, as Jesus loved.

More tomorrow...

"the long-awaited embrace"

Thanks to Kevin for this picture (and for the title...)

we're married

Incredible wedding. A beautiful, beautiful gift.

Now the honeymoon begins, in the cabin with no electricity (or plumbing), so it'll be quiet here for about a week...

"look to him, and be radiant"

Today's the day. Most everyone is still asleep right now. So before things get busy and lots of people start arriving, I thought I'd put in this reading that Heather and I will do together, a combination of verses from Psalms 34 and 84:

I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise will continually be in my mouth.
My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad.

The sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young—
a place near your altar, O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.

O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together.
I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.
Look to him, and be radiant; so your faces shall never be ashamed.

This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.

O taste and see that the Lord is good; happy are those who take refuge in him.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.

O fear the Lord, you his holy ones,
for those who fear him have no want.
The young lions suffer want and hunger,
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

the blessing

In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. And when he came up out of the water, immediately he saw the heavens opened and the Spirit descending upon him like a dove; and a voice came from heaven, "You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased." (Mk 1.9-11)

The parental blessing. This often becomes an issue in relation to marriage. I've been thinking about it and trying to understand what it means, how important it is. It's still a tradition, but is it just being polite or is there really something to the parental blessing?

It seems to me that the blessing that we really desire, and the blessing that really carries weight, is the blessing of God. The words that Jesus heard as he came up out of the water. God's favor. That means something.

Our desire for our parents' favor, their blessing on our life, seems to come from our deeper desire for the blessing of our Father in heaven. So it does symbolize something real. And of course there are many advantages to being in good favor with your parents (and the parents of your spouse). But ultimately we desire God's favor, and if we have that then the disfavor of your parents isn't a great setback.

I imagine it is also a desire of parents to give their blessing to their children. Both to be able to find favor and to be asked for their blessing from the child they love. To not be able to bless their child would be a great loss, I think. And it's even worse for them if they fail to favor that which God has favored.

What is most important is to see what pleases God. And be able to bless that with him, or experience that blessing. "You are my beloved; with you I am well pleased."

wedding gifts

This morning I began Mark 14 and read about the woman who anointed Jesus with expensive nard, and about his "borrowing" of the upper room to celebrate the passover with his disciples. It reminded me of all the generous gifts that have made our upcoming wedding possible.

The beautiful location was offered when we were invited here to Plow Creek farm, and the "honeymoon cabin" is free for our use as well. Heather's parents offered to pay for the food and the barn dance. And the wedding rings are a gift from my parents, as well as a dinner for both families the night before the wedding. The cake is a gift from Annie, who lives here on the farm. Heather's aunt Alice offered to arrange the flowers. And Helen, another aunt (and music director at Reba Place church) is arranging and performing the music for the wedding, along with Ken, Ann, Erin, and Rick. Helen's husband, Ric (pastor at Reba Place) is leading the vows and communion during the service. And Dan, a new friend we met when we moved here, gave me a Guatemalan shirt that I'll wear for the wedding. Many others here at the farm have volunteered to help set up and decorate, and clean up afterwards, and also offered hospitality to many of our friends and family coming from out of town. Hospitality to us as well; Mark and Louise have been sharing their home with us, and so will continue to do so through the first few months of our marriage.

All gifts. In addition to the many gifts of money from friends and family, which will help us prepare for our walk and give us some starting resources for the retreat ministry here.

Like Jesus—who didn't even have a place to gather with his disciples for the passover—we had nothing. Yet if Jesus asks us (as he asked his disciples), "When I sent you out with nothing, did you lack anything?," we can also answer gladly, "Nothing."

Five days until the wedding and no cold feet so far...



That could be referring to something Jesus said about marriage. Though I tend to think in heaven it will be less like "being single again" and more like loving everyone as much and as intimately as you love your spouse...