the honeymoon's over

We spent most of yesterday cleaning up our room which was left in wedding disarray, clearing out the wrapping paper and boxes, putting gifts away (after figuring out who they came from), and doing several loads of neglected laundry. Now there's some semblance of order.

And life seems to be returning to normal. Which has been a bit of an emotional let down. The wedding went so well, great weather and no major snags, even the unexpected improvisations (like the congregational dance at the end of the service) turned out much better than the original plan. The cake was incredible. And the mood was relaxed and everyone seemed to be having fun, even the kids. Such a high spirit throughout. And the honeymoon in the seclusion of the cabin was bliss. So it felt strange and a bit empty to return to the routine here, and see everyone going on normally, like nothing major had changed.

But now I'm thinking that "back to normal" may be just what I need. Because I encountered something else after the wedding: From the married couples we talked to, I kept getting the impression that we had "joined the club," that now we were on the path that they were familiar with, the well-trodden path that so many have taken before us. That they knew what we were in for. And that made me a bit nervous. Because I didn't think I was changing paths, getting on the well-travelled one...

Clearing out the wedding decorations and getting back to my normal life reminds me that I haven't changed substantially, and what I am called to has not changed substantially (despite the knowing nods of our married friends). I am called to love. The love exemplified by Jesus, a single man who never "joined the club." The same love that I've been trying to live all along. I tried to emphasize this in my wedding vow, that my marriage commitment was simply part of the commitment that I've been living for years. The commitment to love with God's love, as Jesus loved.

More tomorrow...