a surrender - 27

(Continuing "a surrender," chapter four, "the anawim")

I remembered that those were the kinds of people Jesus had been drawn to. The ones on the edges of society. The weak ones. They were the ones that seemed most eager to hear and believe what Jesus was saying. Maybe because he was saying things like, “Blessed are you poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.” And, “Blessed are the lowly ones, for they will inherit the earth.” Jesus said he had come “to proclaim good news to the poor.” Later, I learned he was referring to the anawim. It’s a Hebrew word meaning the poor, the weak, the oppressed, who looked to God for help. And those were the ones who heard Jesus’ words gladly. Jesus urged people to depend on God instead of depending on their own strength, and promised that God would help them. That was good news to the anawim. Because they didn’t have any strength, they didn’t have any power in society. To people who had wealth and power, Jesus’ words didn’t sound so good. But for many people who were weak and helpless, letting themselves be lifted and carried by God’s strength, the surrender of faith, was much easier.

Jesus didn’t just help and encourage the anawim, though. He was one of them. He also was poor and weak. Intentionally so, it seemed, since Jesus did not accept the power that could have been his. And in the end, he was left alone, rejected and humiliated. Executed with criminals. The life of the anawim, depending on the power of God, the life of faith, was the life that Jesus chose.  

And so that was the life I wanted to live. I didn’t know exactly how I could do that, but I wanted to try, and I was young and had little to lose. So I was trying this life on the road. I didn’t know how long I could continue, but it seemed like a good start, learning the life of the anawim, the life of faith.

Most of the time, when I was walking, people saw me simply as a homeless person. They would often look at me funny in a library or a store, or shy away, or call the police if they saw me sitting outside. Sometimes the police took me to a homeless shelter. Those were not very pleasant places to stay. If I happened to be approaching a car stopped on the road, I sometimes heard the door being locked. I tried to keep myself as clean as possible and be as polite as possible and ask for little or nothing, but people still made assumptions. It didn’t feel very good to see how I looked in most people’s eyes. But I tried not to say anything critical to people who treated me poorly. I thought it was good for me to feel what it means to be an outsider, a lowly one in society.

Continued...