"despising the shame"

One thing I'd add to yesterday's thoughts (from two years ago), about the importance of being able to be a "nobody," unnoticed, unappreciated. It's that I think we need to learn that in order to be able to wait for God's answer, God's saving act. Because if we're not able to be that low, that humbled, then we won't be able to wait without taking things into our own hands. Or despairing. Or compromising.

I read in Hebrews this morning about Jesus enduring the cross, "despising the shame." He needed to be able to do this to experience God's powerful saving act. But it's the shame that drives me crazy. Not only as a terrifying blow to my ego; it also feels like I'm failing God somehow. I'm trying to be this example of faith, showing what happens when you really trust God—and look what's happening! Like I'm letting God down by failing.

If we're going to be able to get through this, we have to learn to be failures in the eyes of others, unimpressive, nobodies. And then the salvation, the vindication, can be all God.