spirit in the sky

I hope they play this at my funeral...

Outside, men quarrel
But here quietly I wait
for him to waken



(previous Christmas haikus here)

the purpose of life?

Often in the past I've found it helpful to think about "the purpose of life." Or, more specifically, what I thought my particular purpose in life is. It seemed to help give me direction, or help focus me again when I was getting lost in the many confusing demands of daily life. It was during such a time of seeking purpose that I found a new interest in the life and teachings of Jesus.

But lately it seems that focusing on my "purpose" has become less helpful. Maybe it's partly because I've seen how often I've failed to live up to the purposes I've pursued. And it's partly because I've seen how often my purposes (and the purposes of others) have been misguided, unachievable, or simply unworthy of a human life. But I think the biggest issue for me right now is that having "a purpose" seems too much like having "a job."

A purpose in life, even if it's seen as a purpose given to us by God, still seems to be a goal or task to be accomplished, a work to be done. Maybe that seems good to us at times, because we want to feel valuable or needed or useful. And there certainly is a satisfaction that comes from completing a task that has been set before us. But focusing our life around a goal or type of work does seem to suggest that our value is in what we produce, that we are workers that are valued as means to an end. Then there are the troubling questions that arise: How well (or much) are we working? Are we working towards a good enough goal? What happens when we can't work any more?

And it seems to me that Jesus' teaching and example lead us to a different understanding, that it isn't our work that God wants—it's us. To be with us. Because God loves us, each of us. Jesus' life and sacrifice wasn't about gathering an army or a workforce to reshape the world, but about reuniting each of us with God. What we are offered is not just the purposes of God, but the Person of God. And that is what we all long for most deeply.

When I find myself getting confused or anxious amid the many demands of daily life, I'm finding it much more helpful to reach out to the Person, rather than a purpose. Remembering that (despite what most everyone else seems to say) I'm not the means to something else that someone wants, I myself am what God wants. And God is what I want. That is a "goal" that is worthy of a human life, and God makes that achievable right now, in this moment. And in the next moment, whether it be work together, or rest together, crying together, or laughing together. To be and act together, in the midst of whatever the moment brings.

I've been trying to remind myself of this the first thing I wake up, inspired by something my young son does. He sleeps right next our bed. And every morning, just as he wakes up, he calls out quietly: "Da?" Just checking to make sure I'm there. Because that's what's important to him. I realize that's how I want to start each day also.

"Da?"

"their tongue struts through the earth"

Truly God is good to the upright,
to those who are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled,
my steps had well nigh slipped...
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

For they have no pangs;
their bodies are sound and sleek.
They are not in trouble as other men are;
they are not stricken like other men.
Therefore pride is their necklace;
violence covers them as a garment.
Their eyes swell out with fatness,
their hearts overflow with follies.
They scoff and speak with malice;
loftily they threaten oppression.
They set their mouths against the heavens,
and their tongue struts through the earth.

Therefore the people turn and praise them;
and find no fault in them...

When I thought how to understand this,
it seemed to me a wearisome task,
until I went into the sanctuary of God;
then I perceived their end.

Truly you dost set them in slippery places;
you make them fall to ruin.
How they are destroyed in a moment,
swept away utterly by terrors!
They are like a dream when one awakes,
on awaking you despise their phantoms.

When my soul was embittered,
when I was pricked in heart,
I was stupid and ignorant,
I was like a beast toward you.
Nevertheless I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing upon earth that I desire besides you.

Ps 73

the birds and the lilies

Almost two years ago, the land here was given to some folks from a nearby Mennonite church to start an educational farm, Hungry World Farm. The main idea was to help people understand where food comes from, and promote appreciation and respect for the earth. I can certainly see the value of that goal. It's obvious now that human beings have misused our natural resources and need to learn respect for our environment and ways to live more sustainably.

Environmental causes have also gained theological support more recently among Christians. I remember interest in "creation theology" when I was in seminary. But these ideas haven't resonated with me much. I can see that they were partly a response to previous Christian theology that had been misleading and was often used to justify selfish and destructive practices. God's words in Genesis had been interpreted to mean our role was to dominate the natural world:

Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth."

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth." (Gen 1.26-28)

These words had used to often to justify a "conquer and pillage" approach, which contributed to the loss of resources and worrying climate effects we are now seeing. The more environmentally-friendly theological response was to interpret these words of God as a command, not to conquer the earth, but to care for it like a shepherd. Which does seem like a step in the right direction.

But, while I recognize the value of this shift in theology, the focus on our relationship to the earth still seems to me to be missing what's most important. Those words in Genesis must be read in the context of the whole story of creation (and the fall). The story is not about our relationship with our environment. It's the story of our relationship with God. The garden is the expression of God's love and care for us, and the story of life in the garden shows how life can be when God's gift is respected—or misused. The natural world is clearly a gift of God. Not something to be conquered by us, but also not our job or responsibility. It is God's gift of love to us. It is a way to experience and act out our relationship with our loving Creator.

As I look at it this way, I've been realizing that this is another aspect of our call to dependence on God, which is faith. We are not the conquerors of the earth, but we're also not the managers of it. The earth is not dependent on us. We are the dependent ones, looking for God to provide through the earth he created for us. This understanding of our dependence on God in nature, and the earth as God's gift, seems to me to be very helpful as we respond to God through the natural world. The way we live in the natural world is our response to what God has offered us in love. How will we receive this great gift?

And I'm reminded of Jesus' words, "Consider the birds... Consider the lilies..."

"let the nations know that they are but men"

The needy will not always be forgotten,
and the hope of the poor will not perish for ever.

Arise, O LORD! Let not man prevail;
let the nations be judged before you!
Put them in fear, O LORD!
Let the nations know that they are but men!

Arise, O LORD;
O God, lift up your hand;
forget not the afflicted...
The helpless commit themselves to you;
you have been the helper of the orphan.
Break the arm of the wicked and evildoer;
seek out his wickedness till you find none.

The LORD is king for ever and ever;
the nations will perish from his land.
O LORD, you will hear the desire of the meek;
you will strengthen their hearts, you will incline your ear
to do justice to the orphan and the oppressed,
so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.
(Ps 9-10)

judge not

Today I was supposed to report for jury duty. But a few days ago I received a call saying that all the cases had been settled and I wasn’t needed. I have to admit I was relieved to get that call, because I wasn’t eager to go to the courthouse and conscientiously object to jury duty, as I had been planning to do.

I had planned to simply say that, as a follower of Jesus, I had been taught not to judge or punish others when they had done wrong. That seems pretty clear from Jesus’ well-known words, “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” And his sermon on the mount teaching, “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer.” Then there’s the story of the woman caught in adultery. Jesus was presented with the law and the evidence against the woman, and asked for his verdict. But he does not give it. Instead, he says “let the the one without sin cast the first stone.”

That response of Jesus seems to echo what he said about not judging. Since we are wrongdoers ourselves, we are not in a position to justly judge and punish others. “First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Removing a speck from an eye requires a careful and gentle hand. And, as we learn from Jesus and our own experience, we should know that removing evil also requires great care and patience, not the blunt instruments of force and violence.

I don’t suppose this answer would have gotten much of a reception at the courthouse. But I do think it’s a worthwhile message. Both because most of the people involved would also call themselves “followers of Jesus,” and because the urge to punish others should always remind us of the wrongs we ourselves have done.