we'll be guests as well

In my reading this morning there was another passage that has been very important to me:

Jesus called them to him and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them.

"It shall not be so among you; but whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave; even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Mt 20.25-28)

Like I wrote yesterday, this has been easier to follow while I've been single. But what about now, as we're considering starting a ministry, inviting guests, having to answer for our use of the property and the behavior of our guests?

That could lead into the exercise of authority that Jesus warned against. I'm hoping that we'll be able to keep it firmly in mind that we are guests there as well. That the house and land and food are not ours (literally), but gifts from others to be passed on to those who need them. That we can appeal to our guests to treat these gifts with respect (and the people hosting us with love), and then be willing to personally take the consequences if our guests aren't respectful. Rather than trying to rule over them (which is probably what they're used to), to serve and sacrifice for those who come in need.

"...for he had great possessions"

I came across this favorite passage in my reading yesterday morning:

One came up to Jesus, saying, "Teacher, what good deed must I do, to have eternal life?" And he said to him, "Why do you ask me about what is good? One there is who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments." He said to him, "Which?" And Jesus said, "You shall not kill, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." The young man said to him, "All these I have observed; what do I still lack?"

Jesus said to him, "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."

When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions. (Mt 19.16-22)

It's been easier to heed the warning of this story (and follow its call to perfection) while I've been single, with few needs—and even fewer when I'm on the road. Now as I contemplate family life and see a real possibility for a ministry that requires land and house and transportation and food for many, I feel cautious. Jesus didn't just talk about putting aside possessions, joining the poor in their vulnerability, trusting God daily for bread. He actually lived this. And he called his followers to follow him also in this:

"Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, and give alms; provide yourselves with purses that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." (Lk 12.32-34)

I'm very eager to continue to follow Jesus in this way. But it becomes more difficult when the needs become more (and when the needs are not only mine).

I found some clues about the way forward when I came to Reba Place and began exploring the possibilities for a more stable life. One clue was the sharing possible in community. This is seen also in Jesus' life, in the way his (and the disciples') needs are met by those in their wider community. Another clue was how Jesus also drew outsiders into the sharing for certain bigger needs, such as the upper room for the passover celebration. With God-inspired sharing like this, I can envision how needs could be met for a ministry and a family, though we held few possessions of our own.

Also, focusing more intently this part of Jesus' life, I've noticed a couple important (and much-overlooked) aspects I'd like to emulate as we enter into life at Plow Creek. One, he did not enter into communal ownership. This has been the economic model for many Christian communities throughout history, but Jesus himself was different. He really was poor. (Not just "technically" poor because nothing was owned in his name.) He had no ownership or claim to the resources that he lived on; they were all free gifts from others, from those who loved him. Second, he didn't call some to follow him in his poverty and some to stay wealthy to support him. Jesus accepted gifts from all, and encouraged giving and sharing to whatever extent people were willing. But his call to all his followers was always the same invitation to join him, to become like him, to give all, to abandon the purses that grow old and fail.

To be perfect as he is perfect.

for Heather

we vote 'yay'

Got a call this morning from Louise at Plow Creek farm. She said our retreat idea was discussed at the church members' meeting yesterday and received a very positive and enthusiastic response. They want to go ahead with the idea, continuing to explore the possibilities and trying to work out the difficulties. She also surprised me by saying they are trying to find a way for us to move to the farm sooner, perhaps even this summer.

This is very good news for us. Far more than we dared hope for (O we of little faith).

we will follow you all of our days

More wedding thoughts. Here's a song I'd like to include: Rich Mullins' "Step by Step." (There's a short audio clip here.) Mullins is one of Heather's favorite musicians, and apparently Psalm 34 was part of the inspiration.

I especially like the version usually sung at Reba Place church, with the Halleluia interlude:

God, you are my God, and I will ever praise you
God, you are my God, and I will ever praise you
I will seek you in the morning
And I will learn to walk in your ways
And step by step you’ll lead me
And I will follow you all of my days

Halleluia
We honor you Lord Jesus and forever we will sing
Halleluia
For you alone are worthy and forever we will sing
Halleluia, Halleluia…

I remember copying these lyrics in my journal as I set out on a walk four years ago. A good pilgrimage song. And good for setting out on a life together.

"that they may be one even as we are one"

Marriage seems first of all to be a gift of God, meant to share with us something about God himself. The three scripture passages I quoted yesterday focus on God's desire for us, and his faithfulness, two aspects of love that are especially apparent in (a good) marriage. These next three passages focus more on the unity of God, and the unity he offers us (with himself and with one another). The perfect unity of love.

[Jesus said to them] "From the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder." (Mk 10.6-9)

"I do not pray for these only, but also for those who believe in me through their word, that they may all be one; even as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

"The glory which you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." (Jn 17.20-23)

Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God; for God is love. (1 Jn 4.7-8)

I think together these six passages would be a good presentation of the meaning of marriage, the meaning for all of us, focusing on marriage as a work and gift of God. In a wedding, they could lead up to the vows (or maybe a mutual confessing of faith and love?). Then perhaps breaking into celebration with Psalm 34: O magnify the LORD with me... Look to him, and be radiant...

in God's image

Now that it seems there is a realistic possibility for family life for Heather and me, I've been thinking more concretely about marriage. Yesterday I was looking at some scripture passages that pertain to marriage. I've written before that I don't like how the emphasis at weddings is usually on what the couple is doing (committing to one another), or what the community is doing (sanctioning and supporting the marriage). It seems far more important to me what God is doing. The married couple are "what God has joined together."

So I focused on God's role and purpose in marriage, both for those who are married and for all who can see in marriage a symbol of God's love, God's desire, God's faithfulness, God's unity. Here's the first three passages I really liked (and may want to use in a wedding ceremony):

God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

And God saw everything that he had made,
and behold, it was very good.
(Gen 1.27,31)

My beloved speaks and says to me:

"Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away;
for lo, the winter is past,
the rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth,
the time of singing has come,
and the voice of the turtledove
is heard in our land.
The fig tree puts forth its figs,
and the vines are in blossom;
they give forth fragrance.
Arise, my love, my fair one,
and come away.

"O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
in the covert of the cliff,
let me see your face,
let me hear your voice,
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is comely.

"Catch us the foxes, the little foxes,
that spoil the vineyards,
for our vineyards are in blossom."
(Song 2.10-15)

The mountains may depart
and the hills be removed,
but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,
says the LORD
(Is 54.10)

morning prayer

It was snowy and very cold on the morning after we arrived at the farm, the morning we were to present the retreat idea to the people at Plow Creek. I woke up around 4am and couldn't get back to sleep. I was praying and trying to trust God, but so much seemed to depend on the outcome of that presentation and their response. Heather and I had been seeking for almost two years to find the way ahead for us. Waiting for God to show us how we could live and work together (and raise children), doing the work we felt God leading us to do, and giving it freely to those who needed it most, trusting God to provide for our own needs—not an easy way to live, practically. How to arrange it? Who would be willing to work with us? And we had faced some soul-wrenching disappointments, just when we thought we had found the way forward. These thoughts and feelings crowded around me in the cold darkness.

I got out of bed and wrapped a coat around my shoulders. Sat on the floor and closed my eyes. Tried not to think about the news of the night before, that a tornado had hit the Florida town where my parents live (and that I got only out-of-service signals when I tried to call). Tried not to think about what Heather and I would do if our idea was rejected that morning, where we would go, how much longer we could hope for a future together. Tried to focus on the psalm that had pressed itself into my mind the day before:

This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him,
and saved him out of all his troubles...

Tried to sense God's presence, reassurance, support. It was so dark out. When I read the words of the next psalm, "Let those who desire my vindication shout for joy and be glad, and say evermore, 'Great is the LORD'," I began to cry.


I don't know how long I sat there. And I think the sound crept into my consciouness before I looked out and saw it. The wind. It was bright enough by then to see the movement in the trees, the solemn swaying that looks like prayer to me. Or homage. I watched it and remembered.

Then I rose in the peace of that moment and ate and walked with Heather through the snow to find out what God had for us.

As Heather wrote yesterday, we were amazed by the response to our presentation. Though some hard questions were asked, what we heard was almost completely positive. There was a surprising feeling of energy from the Plow Creek folks, and the sense that we all wanted to work together to figure a way through the difficulties. Our personal visits with a number of people in the following days confirmed that impression. We were thrilled.

The next morning I woke up before 4am and couldn't sleep any more. But this time it felt like I was a kid on Christmas morning. I didn't want to miss anything.


Nothing is decided yet, and even in the church members' meeting next week the most that can be expected is a decision to continue to explore the idea and try to work out some of the tricky parts. If we do go ahead, it will probably be a couple years before Heather and I can actually move in and begin there. And it still might not turn out to be God's long-term plan for us. (Though we very much hope it is.) But for now I am encouraged and hopeful and see God providing just enough of an opening to move forward together.

Shout for joy and be glad, and say evermore, "Great is the LORD!"

Heather's letter

Dear friends,

Thank you for praying!

We had the meeting at Plow Creek Saturday morning, and... all I can say is that it was extremely positive. I walked out of it thinking, Wow, I didn't know it would look so much like a win-win situation. This ministry may actually be a very good fit for Plow Creek. (And that's something subtly yet importantly different from saying that Plow Creek is a good place for the ministry.)

There has been no decision, of course, and the decision may take a long time. And yet people's comments were positive, some of them very positive, and these are not knee-jerk reaction people. They have lived on this land for a long time and built up a strong community and farm and they haven't done it by trying every single new idea that came along. So... Paul and I are very encouraged.

And it's such a wonderful place... when I think of my kids growing up in a place where they can run in the woods and dip their feet in the creek, that just makes me so happy. And helping on the farm, which we plan to do, and eating fresh food we've grown ourselves, and serving that same food to the guests who come for retreats... not to mention how much we enjoy the people here. And how good some of them can be for the retreatants and for us. Speaking of which, I'd better end this email, because we're still out at Plow Creek, and some friends invited us for supper, and it's time to go...

I love you all!
Heather


"So, my friends, every day do something that won't compute.
Love the Lord. Love the world. Work for nothing...
Be joyful, though you have considered all the facts." —Wendell Berry

"this poor man cried, and the Lord heard him..."

I will bless the LORD at all times;
his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul makes its boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and be glad.

O magnify the LORD with me,
and let us exalt his name together!
I sought the LORD, and he answered me,
and delivered me from all my fears.
Look to him, and be radiant;
so your faces shall never be ashamed.
This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him,
and saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the LORD encamps
around those who fear him, and delivers them.
O taste and see that the LORD is good!
Happy is the man who takes refuge in him!

O fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no want!
The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
(Ps 34.1-10)