we three kings

Here's an excerpt from the skit Heather wrote for her Sunday school kids to do on three king's day. It came from their idea, when someone pointed out that the youngest of them looked a lot like Barak Obama. (She picked all the "kings" to fit how the kids looked, a nice touch. And the troop reference is to the recent U.S. surge in Afghanistan.)

Mary: Come in!

"Kings" (Barak Obama, Gordon Brown, Prime Minister of Great Britain, and Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany) crowd into tiny "barn" space.

Cow: (annoyed) Moo!

Brown: We saw the star above your, uh, house...

Mary: It's a barn.

Brown: I mean, above your barn.

Mary: It's not even ours, actually—

Brown: The point is, we saw the star! Above here!

Merkel: And that means your baby is the King of us!

Mary: The King of who?

Merkel: The King of Kings!

Brown: So we want to give him some presents. We're giving him everything a new king needs!

Obama: I'm giving him thirty thousand troops!

Mary: Really? (Bends down to listen to baby as if he said something) What? (listens to baby again) He says no thanks.

Obama: Oh.... OK. Then would he like some myrrh?

Mary: (listens to baby) He says it sounds nice, but what is it?

Obama: It's perfume! (He sprays perfume on baby.)

Brown: They use it at funerals. If he doesn't have thirty thousand troops, he's going to need it.

Mary: He says he knows. (To Obama) He says thank you!

Merkel: I was going to give him thirty million euros. He wants those, right? The euro is stronger than the dollar, you know.

Brown: And I'm giving him three thousand acres of excellent farmland!

Mary: He wants to know whose picture is on the euro.

Brown: And let me guess. He wants me to give the farmland to the poor... I've thought of a different present for the baby. He'll like this one!

Merkel: Hey, I was gonna give mine first!

Brown: Well hurry up then.

Merkel: If you don't want euros, I brought gold! (Gives baby gold.)

Mary: He says thank you, it's so nice and shiny.

Brown: And how about this! (Brings out a stick of incense.) Frankincense! (He lights it.)

Mary: He says thank you (bends down to listen to baby again). He says Yay, it smells a lot better in here now!

Cow: (offended) Hey!