market day

It's a big market day today, with berries going to four different farmer's markets and many people coming here to pick their own strawberries and blueberries in the fields. And I'm feeling a bit disgruntled because my not wanting to get involved in the selling part of the farm business is just making me seem less helpful. There's no time for me to get into any explanation about it. There's just the pressure to come up with another worker and I won't do it.

It mostly makes me feel bad because I can't see how this is any good witness to people. And my trying to keep my work hours down and not push myself too hard probably doesn't look good, either. Maybe there's a better way to go about it. Maybe I'm just not good enough in enough ways to present Jesus' example so people can recognize and appreciate it.

Well, at least it keeps me from feeling proud. I remember Paul writing something about God's treasure in earthen vessels, but I think he meant something different. Maybe the better witness will come when God continues to make a way forward for us, though it looks like I obviously don't deserve it (which I don't). Then the message will clearly be, not that I'm a great or capable person, but that God is merciful and generous with those who trust in him. And who try, even if it's poorly done, to obey.