in the midst of the storm

The night before last, a woman called and asked to come just as I was about to lock the door. So I waited for her to show up (and got together some things for her to sleep on the couch). And a guy wanted to sleep on the porch, so I got a blanket and pillow for him. It was pretty late when I got to bed.

And volunteers start arriving here fairly early, to make lunch for 50-70 people. So it's busy all morning and very crowded until almost 2pm. Then there's a break for a few hours, but by about 4pm people are making dinner and the house is busy again.

And I've caught myself becoming part of the busyness. It's easy to do. There's so much going on and it's for a good cause. But I'm finding it tiring in more than just a physical way. I'm feeling a bit scattered and unfocused, not able to pay attention to what I'm supposed to be doing here (or at any particular moment). So I'm trying to find some space to quiet down and listen to God, to clear my head and focus.

I've started taking a walk after lunch at the soup kitchen. To St. Mary's church, about a mile's walk through town. There a big cross there, outside, with several tall pines framing it and a huge, old maple tree that provides a shady spot to sit in the grass. And it's quiet. I think the walk and some prayer there will help me.

I guess I feel a little like Mary there, sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening.

But I'd also like to learn to rest and be calm and focused in the midst of the action. It makes me think of this story:

Leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat... And a great storm of wind arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care if we perish?"

And he awoke and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

He said to them, "Why are you afraid? Have you no faith?" (Mk 4.36-40)

I like how Jesus was relaxed while everyone else was panicking and trying to control the situation themselves. He trusts that things are in God's hands. Then gets up and proves it with a word. I'd like to have that assurance, and be able to say or do the precise thing needed in any situation.

If only I could learn to sleep while everyone else is bustling around...