a different Easter

A couple days ago, Heather and I went to see a baby doctor. The visit was a bit surreal, because it was the same office, same doctor, and same equipment and examination room where a year ago we found out that there was a serious problem with Heather's pregnancy. She started miscarrying a few days later, on Easter. Everything was the same this time, but it was so different. As soon as the doctor took a peek with the ultrasound equipment, a baby popped into view. As we watched, it wiggled too, turning away from the camera. A little shy, I guess.

He or she looks a little bigger than we expected (though not actually very big). Probably will be born sometime in October. And we're about through the first trimester now, with everything looking good so far, so we're relaxing a bit. Relieved and joyful. A very different feeling for us this Easter.

The miscarriage last year really hit me hard, faith-wise. During the months that followed, I did feel like the experience helped teach me some important lessons, but I have to admit I still felt a little nervous about what God might do. We kept trying and trying to conceive after that and kept failing, which helped me recognize the importance of our trying rather than our success. But that still leaves us very dependent on God to do his part. In a way that will revive our faith and inflame our love.

It meant a lot to me that, without us trying to arrange it this time, Heather got pregnant almost exactly the same time of year as when we were trying to time it for the growing season. She'll give birth (God willing) right as the season ends this year. And several other aspects of our lives make it a much better time now to have a child, including finances and some important relationships with others. We're so grateful. And revived.