that's just so God

I wasn't quite sure what to do with the offer of $500 (from my mother) to help with my medical bills, but I think it was providential. Just not in the obvious way. I've thought and prayed about this quite a bit, and talked to a few friends, and I don't think I'll use that to pay off the troublesome bill.

I just don't feel good about responding to "if you don't pay your discount will be revoked and it'll be sent to the collection agency." I'm not afraid of that, and I think it's wrong, and I don't want to encourage it. I'd much rather encourage those who cared for me and didn't demand payment. So I think I'll ask that the $500 be donated to the hospital instead, which seems like a very good thing to do; and I'll deal with the collection agency, which also seems like it has good (or at least valuable, challenging) possibilities.

And I feel much better about making donations, giving gifts, rather than "paying off" those who demand payment for their service. (Incidentally, Heather also made a donation to one of the doctors who treated me and then cancelled the bill.)

I think this is providential because it made me struggle much more with it, and it also drew in more people. I had to make an intentional, voluntary choice (since I could have paid the bill). And not only does it involve my mother in the decision, it also brought in the friends I consulted. I like that.