a death in the household

I thought of this prayer again this morning:




We were having a long talk about a woman who died here recently, and one of the words that kept coming up was "difficult." Which was a polite way of saying it was hard to live with her, to be in relationship with her. And this couldn't be overlooked, though I could tell people wanted so much to see her in a positive way now that she was gone. But even the reminisces of the good things about her seemed very depressing to me. I guess they just seemed so... insufficient (to cover the "difficulties").

The only way I could feel less depressed was to look away altogether and, like in that prayer, focus only on the person of Jesus.

Is this wrong? Idealism? I don't know, I suppose it is important to look at our shortcomings and faults--if the point is to repent and change and live differently. But simply "admitting" faults or "accepting" our failings, and saying we're just "human" or "real" (as opposed to the perfection or ideal of God), I don't see that helping. It may make us feel better when everyone nods and says it's okay, but I don't think that gets us any closer to who God calls us to be (individually or as a community). And that just makes me depressed and impatient.

Didn't Jesus also get impatient with the "real," "human" response he encountered? Did he accept it because "they're only human"? For example:

A man came up to Jesus and kneeling before him said, "Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is an epileptic and he suffers terribly; for often he falls into the fire, and often into the water. And I brought him to your disciples, and they could not heal him."

And Jesus answered, "O faithless and perverse generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him here to me." And Jesus rebuked him, and the demon came out of him, and the boy was cured instantly.

Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, "Why could we not cast it out?" He said to them, "Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you." (Mt 17.14-20)

That's what we should be saying to one another: "If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed... nothing will be impossible to you."