"I am not kind"

I got quite sick last week, with a fever up to almost 103°F. Thankfully it came down (with some prayer) right when we were worriedly trying to decide whether to start looking for a doctor who wouldn't charge much.

When I'm really sick I tend to get very reflective and introspective. All that pain and laying around, I guess. And I got into a couple good books last week. Near the beginning of Cry, The Beloved Country, by Alan Paton, I found this:
"You are kind," Kumalo replied.

Something in the humble voice must have touched Msimangu, for he said, "I am not kind. I am a selfish and sinful man, but God put his hands on me, that is all."

There's not any new insight in this, it's just that somehow it sounds like he really means it. And it came to me at a time when I really needed to hear it and was brought low enough to hear it well. I need to get to this kind of humility. Or, rather, this kind of honesty.