"as a Gentile or tax collector"

From some recent conversations about how to respond to wrongdoing in a community, and whether authoritative punishment is appropriate when others are being hurt...

We seem to agree that the truly Christlike response to wrongdoing is what Jesus taught in Mt 18, which you have tried, yet the wrongdoing continues. In that case, I think Jesus' teaching and example is that we should suffer the wrongdoing (though we can certainly let the person know how their behavior is hurting us). And forgive again and again, hoping that our willingness to suffer wrong rather than retaliate will gradually soften the heart of the person.

In Mt 18, the response Jesus taught for an unrepentant brother or sister was to treat them "as a Gentile or tax collector," which is not to punish them but simply recognize that they have put themselves outside the way of life of the community (to whatever extent they are living in sin). We should recall that Jesus welcomed Gentiles and tax collectors, ate with them, treated them with compassion.

In his own community, I think Jesus acted toward Judas in this way. Though he knew Judas was conspiring against him (perhaps also stealing from the cash box), he did not try to stop him or turn the other disciples against him. Jesus suffered because of that choice. But he did not drive Judas out of his community.

In Jesus' story of the prodigal son, the father lets the son take advantage of him (suffering loss of property before he is supposed to give it to his son). Then he welcomes him back gladly when the son finally realizes the wrong he has done to his father and family.

And then there are these well-known words from the sermon on the mount:

"You have heard that it was said, `An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also; and if any one would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well; and if any one forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would borrow from you.

"You have heard that it was said, `You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?"

Wouldn't these teachings directly apply to a situation where we are being hurt unfairly or unrepentantly? If anything, we are to expect persecution (unfair attacks, bad treatment) from others, not be the persecutors ourselves, which is how it often looks when punishment is applied in community. How could we end up looking anything like persecutors when we're supposed to be the ones turning the other cheek?