"do you want to be healed?"

Here's the letter I just wrote describing our recent retreat:

Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Hebrew called Bethesda, which has five porticoes. In these lay a multitude of invalids, blind, lame, paralyzed.

One man was there, who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him and knew that he had been lying there a long time, he said to him, "Do you want to be healed?"

The sick man answered him, "Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is troubled, and while I am going another steps down before me."

Jesus said to him, "Rise, take up your mat, and walk." And at once the man was healed, and he took up his mat and walked. (Jn 5.2-9)

A little over a week ago we hosted a retreat on the farm for another group of guys from Emmaus Ministries in Chicago. After supper with others from the Plow Creek community here, and an extended group "listening session" the next morning to build intimacy and set the tone for our time together, we got into the focus for the weekend: The story of the man at the pool of Bethesda. To help everyone understand and identify with the paralyzed man, Heather introduced the story with a reading (that she had written). It began:

There are so many of us here; and we are all so dirty. How could I be clean—a man like me, who can't even raise his legs out of the dust? There is a woman who comes and washes me once a day, and brings a plate of food. My cousin's wife. She hates me, I can see it on her face. But she does what she has to do. She puts the food down by my mat, and she turns me over and washes me, while I turn my head away. At least I can still turn my head away.

And then she goes, and I lie here, looking up at the clean stone pillars all around me and the wooden roof-beams up above and the rows and rows of mats, all around me, all the stinking, useless cripples like myself. And beyond them, off to the right out of the corner of my eye, there's the water of the Pool, flashing in the sun. The pool where the angel comes, or so they say; and when the water stirs it means the angel is there, and if you can leap into the pool the moment the angel stirs it—if you can be the first one in, or maybe even the second—it will heal anything that's wrong with you. Anything. That's what they say.

There is no angel. It's all a mean lie, made up to torture cripples like me. Leap into the pool, cripple! Be healed! No, no, there is an angel, it's no lie. I've heard the shouts of joy, I've lifted up my head and tried to see through the crazy crowd to where the cripples are dancing, and I've seen. I think. But oh God in heaven, I will never be one of them. I never will.

(The whole reading can be downloaded here)

We chose the story because the guys who came this weekend were older, men who had struggled with addictions and life on the streets for many years. And they seemed to understand and respond deeply to the story of the man paralyzed for thirty-eight years. Including Jesus' unexpected question, "Do you want to be healed?" We talked about the reasons why we might hesitate to accept healing, why paralysis and suffering might become part of our identity, and it might seem easier to remain victims, rather than accepting the gift of wholeness and the higher expectations that go with it. The paralyzed man had had an excuse for not answering Jesus' frequently repeated call to "follow me." He couldn't walk. Then Jesus offered him healing, freedom from his bondage, but then also the choice whether or not he would follow the hard and perilous path Jesus walked.

We also discussed Jesus' selection of this one man, among so many, a man who had perhaps almost given up on healing after so long. But then Jesus usually chose the weakest and poorest, the most hopeless cases, who were more ready to accept God's gift of healing because they knew they could not help themselves. People not so different from the guys from Emmaus. We concluded by hearing Jesus ask each of us, "Do you want to be healed?"

It turned out that one of the guys that was here for the weekend is Muslim. We found a copy of the Quran in our library, with both Arabic and English text, and he borrowed it while he was with us. He even offered a prayer in Arabic during our closing worship time. But he was also quite willing to study this story of Jesus with us, and eagerly took part in the discussions. And he asked for our prayers as well.

Another one of the guys had been here for a retreat last summer, and brought news about the guys that came then. (Most now have their own places to live. One is currently in a live-in recovery program.) And we were so impressed by this man's enthusiasm and maturity that we're working on a way for him to come back by himself, for a week-long spiritual retreat later this summer.

The rest of the weekend was feasting together on homemade pizza and roast chicken, and fresh-picked blueberries from the farm, green beans, pink "Mountain Rose" potatoes, cantaloupe, and several kinds of breads made in the bakery here. Homemade strawberry jam that Heather had canned earlier this summer. And eggs from our neighbors' hens.

We also got to know the Assistant Ministry Director at Emmaus, who came with the guys and seemed very enthusiastic about the retreats after her time with us. She wants to come back herself. We're hoping to continue to build good relationships with staff in a number of different ministries, so they can offer our retreats to the people they serve.

Emmaus Ministries is planning to bring another group of guys in late August, which is a joy and encouragement for us. Please pray with us that God continues to help us build these relationships. And opens the way for more men and women in need to come listen for a healing word from God in the quiet and beauty of this place.